well life haven't been going very well for me i guess.

so blogging have slipped right to one of the last things i ever wanted to do. Nothing much to blog about too.

you all wouldn't want to read emo post one after another right? haha

i am now freaking late for work and i am just not moving my ass. actually, i don't even know should i even be going at this time. i screwed up my schedule and now i have no idea where i should go or what should i do next.

irritated.

anyways, i was looking through some old photos last night when i saw this.



look at how mummy is smiling so sweetly into the camera. she was genuinely happy.

i seldom see that on her face now. and i can't do anything about it too. and that really frustrates me.

just looking at this picture pricks my heart. i am sorry mummy.

i know i am not living up to her expectations. i can't even deal with raging issues racing my way now. i just want to roll up somewhere and die.

at least i wouldn't need to worry no more.

at least some people would be happier if i didn't exist in this world at all.

the price to pay for never being really well liked in your entire 17 years of life. pretty pathetic isn't it? haha.

well,maybe you are really right kesh. do friends ever last that long anyway? how many can in fact really walk down this dreadful lifetime of yours?

very very little. in fact, even if you are ever going to be able to find one, you should be smirking your mouth rotten cause you are one hell of a lucky ass.

it doesn't pay to be so nice to everyone i realise. it is human nature. you would start to take advantage even sub consciously once habits are formed. you will start to rely, start to think obligations are always in your way.

sucks to be me you know? i know i often say that. but really, it just sucks to be me.

i am destined a lonely life. it was already predicted before i was born.

fuck all those fake smokescreens that led me to thinking otherwise. life have never been fair.

i guess i am not need here. never needed in fact.

so should i go throw myself off some random building i see?

hmmmm definately a very tempting alternative solution.