"when I taste the sweet, I realize the bitterness within"
i shouldn't have let my guard down.
how much more fake can you get.









just got back from camp.
shagged to the max.
not going to say more about things.
didn't really enjoy it.





indeed through a camp you see many things
what much more is left to say?
I realized so many things in this one and half days.
watch where you place your trust
or risk being eaten. =/






things ain't always what they seem to be.
people might never mean what they are.
what to do?
that's life.





headaches headaches headaches.
when are you going to leave me alone.
you driving me nuts i tell you.
you giving people who hates me a licence to my venerability.

"i no longer know, what my heart wants."
irritating,
but true





FCUKING HEADACHE
HAUNTS ME EVERY NIGHT.
THEY SHOULDN'T EXIST IN THIS WORLD AT ALL.





pills ain't helping any longer.
i have misused them too much already.
awwww.
i have to live with it now.
=/





UTs are the biggest bumpers in my whole entire RP life.
everyone hates it.
who doesn't?
argh but what can we do about it?
ZzZ





ah away from it,
i am kind of falling in love with them,


HEY MONDAY





and her especially *cough cough*,






tell me.
IS SHE CUTE OR WHAT!?
i totally fell in love with her voice and hair.





ok ignore me,
i fall in love with random celebrities all the time.
typical =/





but stillllllllllllll
SHE IS SO CUTE!
OMG OMG OMG.
ok you all can stop staring.
i am not gay.
D:





and that totally reminds me,
i have not done my RJ yet.
zomfgwaispfml.
decode it if you can. =)





ok i am off.

"I have never had this feeling of lost for a long time"
everything is solved.
why do i still feel that something is missing..





i keep forcing myself to believe that i am healthy.
ignoring all the obvious signs of deterioration
finally,
finally,
my body proved me otherwise.





i don't know how much longer i can make myself appear healthy to you all.
but definitely you all can see the difference.
i know i look horrid these days.
sorry.
i can't help it.





sigh.
the varsity of life.
once something is over,
other things start erupting.
how marvellous.





sucks to feel so helpless with your body.
i keep popping pills at nights.
keep bearing the pain.
so lethargic.
so tired





nothing much more to say.
not something i can choose.
just don't sunk your body conditions to mine
it is not good at all
take it from someone who knows..

"Everybody's Fool"
what's left to say
when you guys don't even have that trust for me





It just feels so good to be away from everything.
If I am ignoring all that negative comments that is.
But i am grateful.
Grateful for being blessed with awesome classmates.
you all never fail to make me smile. =)





Sze zhen, although i am always teasing you and making fun of you,
thanks for always being there for me,
listening out for me. :)





Sophie, you are the sweetest girl i have ever met.
so nice and funny at times.
caring and never dull.
thanks for all the concern and great times. :)





Vanessa, you are sooooo caring.
so nice to talk with too.
feels just like an elder sister. :)





Pris, omg, awesome cuteness oozing out naturally.
feels like i can go out shopping with you without being judged.
because of you, it triggered my long lost girly instinct within me.
you are fantastic adorable. :)





Liang yu, you have the best facial expressions man!
sooo fun being around you.
makes me smile all the time. :)





and the many others in class,
i can't thank enough to be placed in this class.
So many fun loving people,
So many people that actually care.
thank you all once again.
For finding my smiles again. :)





Had so much fun today.
will upload photos if i am able to get them from pris soon.





but still, how long can this sheer enjoyment of each other's presence last?
Hmmm.
seriously, i have no idea. =/





well, good friends are hard to find
Real friends are even harder.
you will never know whether one is until the most crucial point
lets all hope for the best then. =)

-Fire Of Will-

isolation,
that is my reality.
Hold on tight i must,
as i cling on for eternity.


what are friends for,
if they slap you in your face
with no mercy, no hope, no trust,
what's there left to say

And in time, i realize,
alone i must stand strong.
exchanging revenge for sweet conviction
till that day

Burn, my fire of will,
Give me courage to take on the world
Burn, my fire of will,
Give me strength for those against me.
I'm taking this vengence personal
Burn

"Trust is earned"
there are so much better things to do
than nosing into other people's matters
get a life




before i start on anything,








HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY




may all mothers live their life to their fullest.
experiencing the best that life can bring them. =)
and mummy,
i love you. :)





tiring weekend i tell you.




TIRING




so many JCG stuff to settle.
my eyes are very close to this already. --> @_@






Gambatte Reiko,
you can do it. ^^ll






removed my extensions with the help of my bro last night.
WORST HORROR OF MY LIFE.
i never shed so much hair in my life man. =.="













MASSIVE HAIRLOSS! T.T
and they are my real hair!
dead ones of course. ^^ll





my brother wanted some credit for it.
so there you go,





ARTIST: BOON KIAT
TITLE: ONE.BIG.MESS





don't ask me why I rolled it into a ball
it is for easy disposal. LOL
look like fur ball =.=""





and i cut my hair and fringe!
omg i look so different now.
>.<




and sze zhen,
no need to be so excited to see my hair la
make me look so much more matured
^^ll





got my formal wear from G2000 on Sat too.
OMG. SUPER EXPENSIVE I TELL YOU
no wonder office people earn so much.
a quarter of their pay goes to their wear. @_@

















behold the price..
A GRAND TOTAL OF $200 DOLLARS!!
*faints*





thank god my mum paid for it.
THANKS MUMMY! ^^




alright, i think i am going to stop here and head to bed soon
before i can't wake up tomorrow and decide NOT to go to school again.
^^ll




ja ne~

"Isolation, the best personal medicine"
i am enjoying my days of isolation.
so free..





enough,
i had enough.





no more Mr nice guy,
no more acting as if i care.





if you all have no respect or concern for me
why should i be doing all these nice crap for you all
it just isn't fair





years i tell you
YEARS
i have been tolerating
i have tried to be nice
i didn't want to do anything that was against my principles






but i have always known this fact
人善被人欺
i just didn't want to believe the level of truth that it brings






well reality just kicked me in the face and told me i was foolish
the level of stupidity i have sank into for believing nice acts with be repaid by the similar kind acts





the world is just too scheming for you to be naive,
for you to be nice.






to eat or to be eaten.
i finally learnt this lesson





fuck you people i don't care anymore.
want to say bad about me? come tell it in my face
want to whack me, come we settle this outside





the old naive carefree Brenda will never exist no more
what you see in front of you is not her
is an animal with no feelings to hurt anymore
beware of her smiles. they are not real.

"it is so difficult to trust anyone anymore"
is there anything more i have to say?
the title says it all




Hmmm.
let me see,
it have been..


1
2
3
4



whole days since i did a proper post.:O




haha,
i know no biggie la.
but it just feels like it have been months.



















i just love these people to bits.
so relaxed, so carefree when i am with them.




no scheming,
no backstabbing,
no fake faces.




just us and only us,
sharing the same interest,
the same celebrity gossips,
the same passion.




JCG PEEPS,
i would to really thank you all.
thank you all for all the wonderful time you given me.




all the hard work
all the laughter
all the stupid things we did
all the sad times we pulled through.









JCG, I WILL NEVER LET YOU CRUMBLE.
for my source of true indulgence exist there. =)





Just a quick update on the dates..




2nd may:
Watched X men's origins, wolverine.
AWESOME MOVIE I TELL YOU.
rating 4.5/5!
Urge me to re watch X men 1,2,3.
Xmen is still the best marvel movie ever! *loves* ^^





3rd may:
went for shiroro sama's birthday celebration.
my eyes were rejecting my contacts that day so i wore specs.
SO UN GLAM! D;
But we had a good time man.
Played lan for the first time.
L4D anyone?
i know super lag la. ^^ll





4th may:
Went to school and was bored out of my socks.
god damn the faci.
so cocky. =.=
went for PP briefing and
WTF, NO IDEA WHAT AND HOW TO DO AT ALL.
wish me good riddance people.
after the briefing went for JCG meeting and back home with my JCG peeps! :D





5th may:
WAS suppose to go to school.
but haha, you all guessed it.
i didn't. XP
Overslept and wasn't feeling well.
decided to stay at home
then the risk getting caught by the thermal detectors
stationed in the school's ONLY entrance.
SOOOOOO, slacked the whole day today.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!




6th may:
-unknown-





well, that's about all,
now my conscience wouldn't be bugging me to update anymore.
i guess no one was anticipating it as well. ^^




*****

ocean wide full of fake faces.
how am i to know who is real and who is not.
the fake looks real.
the real looks real too.



any detectors that can see through these people.
know what their actual motive are.
how great it is to be able to read people's thoughts.
and then again how disastrous to be able to read one.



hello reality.
is this what you really are?
if it is,
i will rather indulge myself
to the deceiving world of virtual fantasies



at least on fantasies,
you can let your guards down.
and let your real self free.


*****




i guess i have finally worked my body out.
i am even lazy to type.
everything seem like illusions now...

OMG OMG OMG




I AM HAVING A FEVER NOW
BODY ACHES
LETHARGIC




SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU


*faints*

"still water runs deep"
you can never judge a book by its cover
unless he/she is some kuku easily readable person





for just this post,
i have stoned in front of the computer for an entire hour.





epic much?





have been crazily busy past few days.
was so dead tired after school i can't even beg myself to blog.
so many things to talk about,
NADA energy at all.
D;





i am very glad to announce the SLA event to be super successful.
thank you so much for every one's help.
eda, kisa, ernie, cheng xiong, matthew,rong ting, adeline, sindy, annas, victoria, ck, yuki, senpai, sochii, yuki's sister, shawn, zee, xiao yang.
(names are of random order)
i hope you all enjoyed yourselves too.
:D






i would like to thank sochii personally for being soo nice to lend a helping hand.
you are indeed our life saver.
and you look totally shuai!
and YES, I AM FANGIRLING HER.
what so wrong about that.
don't tell me you won't if you see her.
cause that is totally a lie.
XD






alright,
the following few seconds would be spams of photos.
let pictures tell the story.
i am awfully shagged to do so.
D;




















































omg.
a lot of photos. :O
LOL





super super shagged.
mind is totally not processing. D;
so many things happened today.
so unexpected,so omg-i-don't-know-what-to-say





argh.
what the heck am i talking about.
totally crapping away.
i hope everything i just typed makes sense.
^^ll





NOTE: PLEASE DON'T ASSUME. i am friendly to almost everyone. =.=





i am ending here.
god damn tired.
before i get so tired that i take the toilet bowl as my pillow.
D;




oyasumi~